I gave this “commemorative” speech for my Speech class. I really got into it and even acted it out. I was wearing a black jacket, black pants, and black shoes; and wiping the “tears” away on a Kleenex. During the second part (“But with all passings…”), I removed the jacket and I was wearing a red, dressy blouse; and my attitude also changed. Everyone in the class loved it and I got the highest grade.

Family and friends,

We are gathered here on this sad day to remember someone so wonderful and who was appreciated by us all. Someone that we wish we could be with us for the rest of our lives but no longer can… Marriage.

Marriage had so many great qualities everyone could cherish and adore, like all those sleepless nights hearing you snore or grind your teeth uncontrollably that not even pushing, shoving, or rolling you over could help stop the sweet melodies of the sounds you made. Or the slurping of your coffee in the early morning light muffling the singing of the birds. The underappreciated smell following you from the bathroom after a long stay inside. Or your beauty as you walked around the house with the skin showing through the threads of your underwear. The inconsideration of not allowing me to sit by the window the first time we flew to the Caribbean even though it was my first and it was your third. Or the toenail clippings left behind on the carpet whenever you pulled them with your teeth.

But with all passings, great lessons have been learned. Like knowing that my poor sight and hearing will eventually improve with the passing of time. And that those sleepless nights have been replaced with the comfort of a down bed with silk sheets, rose-scented candles and a well-toned hard-body. The freedom of coming and going as I please, and finally all the fun I get to have.

Marriage, you will truly be missed, but I will find a way to go on without you.